I suppose I’ll pick up the ol’ virtual pen and start blogging again. Looking back on my posts from 2006, I’m surprised by how much and yet how little I’ve changed. Still pushing myself too hard, but now with a child. More knowledgable? Probably. Wiser? Pfft. Doubtful. It’s been a rough decade professionally and personally, but I am going to put that behind me and look forward.
It’s been a busy week – left for California last Wednesday, and here’s a quick update on what’s gone down since then:
- Direct flight from Newark to SFO, arrived around 9 p.m. Dad picked me up at the airport, and we chatted on the way home about life and family.
- Stopped in at In-N-Out for a Double-Double with fries and a chocolate shake. Hey, I only get to splurg once a year!
- Once to my Dad’s house, watched “The Day After” (an 80’s nuclear doomsday flick on ABC), and crashed upstairs in the spare bedroom.
- Rose early, did the local crossword puzzle, and had Dad drive me to the DMV to apply for a replacement license.
- Had Starbucks with Dad, and a chat about politics.
- From there went to the Hertz and nailed down a Mazda 6, fully insured (you’d understand if you knew my driving record).
- Visited Best Buy to get Christmas presents: XBox 360 for Jake and family.
- Then it was off to Willits, and a quiet, sleepy night at home.
- Had an early rise, chats with Mom, and then more shopping. But not before dropping by Safeway and catching up with Denise, Sonya, Dale, Sarah, Dina, Theresa, and even Mona!
- More shopping: record time at Wal-Mart (boo!) and Staples. Hey, there aren’t many options, dammit.
- And then Christmas came early. So much fun, so many gifts, so much … wrapping paper! Did I mention how adorable my niece and nephews are?
- Lunch with Denise and Sonya, in the Safeway break room no less.
- Dropped by Jim’s house, visited with him, Trevor, Gracie, and Sarah. She looked especially good.
- Lunch with Gracie, et al., at the Loose Caboose.
- NPR radio puzzles with Will Shortz. O.K., I admit, it’s just a book of reprints, but I love word play.
- Finally, a quiet night at my parents’, watching “The Devil Wears Prada” with Mom
- And I was off to the East Bay! But first needed to lose $350 at an Indian casino. Bad news, those places. (Odds? What odds?) But my grandma, Mom, and Melissa enjoyed it, I think. (I admit: it was fun, if hurtful to the pocketbook. Note to self: avoid those $5 slots.)
- Watched “Four Brothers” with Joe and hit the sack.
Monday – Christmas Day
- Nothing like spending Christmas in a cramped bulkhead aboard a decrepit American Airlines Boeing, with a $5 snack box and a snooty stewardass. (“Flight attendant” my ass.)
- It was good to be home. Very late. But home.
- Back to work (which felt good – my brain needed a boost), and a surprise: Erin’s in town, and needs a place to crash. My sister is visiting! Sweet.
- Later it’s a quick gym workout, dinner at Zucchero e Pomodori, coffee at DTUT, and some friendly back-and-forth on the Middle East.
- A mellow day at work. Introduced Erin to the team, and then headed to DTUT after close of business to hang with Jeff and solve the Wednesday Times puzzle.
- Katrina calls! She’s coming into town tomorrow!
- A stop at some random UES bar and “How to Play Pool 101” with Professor Bell. So that’s how you nail those bank shots.
- A couple West Wing episodes, and sleep.
- Standard work day — a quiet week indeed — and then a much-needed run on the treadmill.
- Dinner with Katrina (in my sweats no less) at Canyon Road.
- A drink at Trash, introducing Katrina to the gang — Jeff was there too — and then a quit stopby at Mo’s for a second drink with my two Polish neighbors, Anna and Alexandrea.
- Ta-ta, Katrina, and falling into bed, exhausted, around 2 a.m.
- Fuck you and your 12 balls!
- This week has been incredibly slow. That holiday (read: relaxing) vibe is in the air.
- Bully’s for lunch and a read through the Times and a stack of magazines. Surprise: The Economist raised its prises. Six bucks now.
- Kerriann is around, and might be hanging out with her tonight. But right now, time to publish this post and close the book on the pre-2007 day-to-day.
“You”? Gimme a fuckin’ break.
Had my first post-concussion workout today, and didn’t push too hard. But it went smoothly more-or-less, with only a few tinges of head pain, which I’m not sure were related to my earlier accident anyhow.
I’m hoping to run a bit tomorrow before I leave for a few days in California. One week without a workout was one week too long!
I went to the emergency room last night for a CT scan, and it came back negative. Which is good, although it doesn’t help me feel any better right now. The doctor observing me said I have what’s called post-concussive syndrome, which is short for “well, you’ll feel like shit but we don’t know for how long.” Wonderful.
I do know that I feel sore in every area of my body; my head is aching (here comes the Vicodin); my mind isn’t clear; and I haven’t been to the gym in a week. It’s really horrible to not have anything specific to point to, but to know the cause. And it rather freaks me out, the picture of my brain rocking in its cradle, who knows how many neurons knocked out of place. Am I even the same person afterward? Given my mental rigidity, I’m thinking no. Even my teeth hurt.
I feel the panic coming on. Need to go home and rest.
I managed to somehow slip and bang my head last Saturday, knocking myself unconscious briefly, and then waking in a slight daze but otherwise unscathed.
Or so I thought.
Here it is a week later, and I’m still feeling unfocused and fatigued. My doctor looked and said it didn’t seem anything to be concerned about, but I went to the ER anyhow to check that my mind isn’t frayed – but had to leave early as I hadn’t anticipated an extended stay. (Wishful thinking in New York!) The doctor’s recommendation there was for blood work, a lumbar puncture, and a CT scan. All of which I left before having performed.
So now I’m ruminating – headache firmly installed, sleepy, wondering how much damage, exactly, I did do, and worried it’s getting worse. And thinking: do I go back to the ER tonight, or wait it out until Sunday.
In the meantime, visions of a debiliated, hobbled
amd invade my mind, and I worry that the culmination of my years thus far have been squashed by this one incidient. Or hampered in a permanent way.
I’m a ball of anxiety.
Perhaps the ER it is – but it’s the weekend. I want to relax.
Or is relaxing a mistake – am I forgoing a needed check for one or two nights inside on the couch? Will this one weekend of not following up on the head rattling mean several more of pain in the future?